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 TERROR
FIRMER- (Troma)
Horror/comedy. Approx. 150 minutes. NR, extreme gore, nudity. Not only
does this crew of independent filmmakers have to face the normal problems
with shooting an indie flic, they have to deal with a sexually confused,
murderous maniac. Led by their blind Director Larry (Troma co-founder
Lloyd Kaufman), the crew sets out to make the greatest movie ever.
However, along the way, cast and crew members are brutally killed by a
sexy woman wearing black. As the gruesome murders continue, Larry is able
to keep moral high and keep the shot schedule on time. He also tries his
best to get his 12 year old (or so) daughter Audrey (played by Lloyd’s
real life daughter) to start talking again. She went mute years ago after
seeing her Mother get her head squashed as a stampeding talk show audience
trampled her to death. Back to the carnival at hand, one guy gets his head
bashed in after having a funnel jammed up his ass, an over weight investor
of the film gets hacked with an ax and eaten by an elevator, a black actor
is shot and killed on the set, a punk rock fx dude gets his legs chopped
off (not sure how the murderer pulled that one off-you’ll see when you
watch the flic), and lets not forget the guy who has his penis stretched
about 12 feet. Along with the murders, production assistant Jennifer (Alyce
LaTourelle) has to decide between two men who she loves more. First there
is Casey (Will Keenan), the good looking, sensitive sound man. Then
there’s Jerry (Trent Haaga), the over the top, make up effects man who
likes nothing more than to goof off. As she grows closer to Casey, she
discovers a few little nasty secrets that shock the snot out of her.
The only thing missing from this
circus of a movie is the scent of elephant poop and popcorn. Troma fans
will love this movie, while others may be just a tad bit repulsed. The
vapid crudeness of this movie is only the beginning of the pure genius
that Lloyd Kaufman has captured on film. Of course, the killings are
purely grotesque works of art. You will never see more sickening head
squishing, penis stretching, and body chopping anywhere else. Hey, the
scene of the punker getting his legs chopped off is extra ucky. The movie
is shot utilizing past Troma releases and characters. All of our favorite
Troma personalities are present, Toxic Avenger, Sgt. Kabukiman, etc. To
make things extra festive, Debbie Rochan stars as the star! I love her. I
did have one problem with this fine movie; there are too many penis shots
for me. The fat naked guy running around New York City naked was
especially repulsive. Seeing him die made me smile, although his close up
cock shot didn’t. If I want
to see penis, I’ll take a peek down my pants. Thankfully, there are
enough nude women to help offset the penises. Oh, did I mention the puking
fest in the car? Truly amusing. This
flic is influenced
by Lloyd Kaufman’s book "All I Need To Know About Filmmaking I
Learned From The Toxic Avenger," which is plugged a few times during
the flic. Yes, that’s Ron Jeremy and Moterhead’s Lemmy guest starring.
The movie ends with a mock public service announcement preaching fairness
for hermaphrodites starring South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt
Stone. Terror Firmer was shot on 35mm and the cast does pretty good job
acting. I especially like Charlotte Kaufman’s portrayal as Audrey. She
was funny making all of her goofy face as she tried to force words out of
her mouth. I’d have to say that this baby has taken over as my favorite
Troma release. Check the baby out!- Denis Sheehan
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