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 THE
GOSH-DARNED MORTGAGE
(Siren Tales)
Comedy/drama/erotica/mishmash. Approx 65 minutes. NR, boobies.
Constance Fairheart is struggling to pay the mortgage on her house
and fighting off the advancements of the sinister Solomon Snakebite who
has vowed to take her house away. Just as all appears dark, Constance
comes into some money and all appears fine. However, Solomon has other
plans for Constance. Solomon hires some “unsavory riff-raff” to aid
him in stealing Constance’s dough. Like all heroes, Rock Manly bursts
onto the scene to save the day. Ahh, but wait. Solomon has another trick
up his sleeve..his evil sister.
Written and acted like
the classic 1920’s melodrama, this video was entertaining to say the
least. Pamela Sutch pulles the ol’ triple play with this movie; lead
actress, producer ,and director. She does a good job on all three counts,
and I found her rather appealing too! She blesses us with a few topless
shots and shows off her torso, in panties, more than a few times. Her
torso is rather sexy too. The dude who plays Solomon does a good job, as
do all the actors/actresses. Except for the Rock Manly guy. He
disappointed me. Tina Krause stars as the evil sister, yip, she gets naked
too. The true comic relief here is the guy who plays the unsavory
riff-raff (I watched this flic a bit hammered and forget names). He looks
like Big Pussy from The Sopranos, but is one big goofball. TGDM is very
low budget, but the crew did a nice job with what they had. Indie flic
fans will enjoy this one. It’s been too long since I’ve seen a woman
tied to a train track…- Denis Sheehan
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