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| Back to The Music Reviews Page |
 THE
BRAINY CRAMPS- Go to the Beach (Fallen
Angel Records) I’ve thought about a lot of things in my life, but
until now, I’d never envisioned mailing anyone my cum. Or buying a fish
tank full of that same substance. It also hadn’t ever occurred to me to
say, “Your cunt smells like a dump” to anybody (even if that was the
case). And I’d never before contemplated just how Zen a bi-focal fist
fuck might be. So thank you for that, Brainy Cramps. It’s a good thing
that most of the 20 tracks on Go to
the Beach are neither catchy nor melodic because I’d never be able
to get them out of my head. That
said, the delicately delivered “Sense of Security,” a poignant ditty
about how getting caught wacking off and being molested by a priest can
affect one’s psyche, has been looping through my mind for days. And
I’d be lyin’ if I said that “Hey Rick (That Girl You Fucked Last
Night Was a Dude)” didn’t totally rock. Nauseating and hilarious.
–Ben Hunter
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