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 THE
NAUGHTY STEWARDESSES (Retro
Seduction Cinema) 1974. Drama? 96 minutes. Rated R, nudity. Marge,
Barbara, and Jane are three hip chicks flying around the world as
mini-skirt, white leather go-go boots, funny ass huge hat wearing airline
stewardesses. Debbie is a small town girl who travels to Los Angeles to
join the mini-skirt, white leather go-go boots, funny ass huge hat wearing
stewardesses team. Upon arriving at the trio’s swinging pad, Debbie soon
realizes that although she is different than the rest of the women, she is
very much the same. Wanting to be more than just a mini-skirt, white
leather go-go boots, funny ass huge hat wearing airline stewardess, Debbie
gets involved with one very uncool cat and looks for a little stability in
the form of one crusty old fart. Feeling outraged and jealous, the very
uncool cat decides to get back at the crusty old fart, and uses Debbie and
her fellow mini-skirt, white leather go-go boots, funny ass huge hat
wearing airline stewardess as pawns in his very uncool chess game.
Holy early 1970’s style gem Batman! Brought to you by drive-in
gods Sam Sherman and Al Adamson, this movie should be in the Smithsonian
to preserve the wacky early 70’s culture and for proof that such a zany
time existed. First off, you have to love the glasses these people wore.
The lenses’ diameter is equivalent to that of the Hubble Telescope.
Granted, mini-skirts look great on the right woman, but please loose the
go-go boots and the jiffy pop popcorn hats! The plot itself is useless,
but I couldn’t stop watching this DVD because I couldn’t wait to hear
more bad/funny dialog and just had to see what strutted across the screen
next. One perplexing scene; the women throw a party and judging by the way
all the guests eat, one would think they were all vacationing in Ethiopia
for a week or two before the bash. Watch your hand or you might lose it.
Brewster, the crusty old fart, is played by Robert Livingston, who had a
pretty successful career starring in about 8 million cowboy movies and tv
shows. In fact, ol’ Bobby once portrayed Zorro and The Lone Ranger.
How’s that for useless B Western Trivia? The fact that this old dude was
bedding women nonstop in this movie was a tad disturbing to me. There’s
nothing worse than seeing a 70 year old man (although his character is
suppose to be in his 50s) wearing a powder blue jumpsuit successfully
seducing young woman. Wait a minute, maybe there’s hope for me yet. One
encouraging note concerning the 70’s style; the women actually wore hot
underwear, as opposed the usual Grammy undies normally scene in early 70s
movies. The print is restored from its original 35mm negative and is far
from perfect as it’s loaded with white speckles and other assorted
“stuff.” Who cares though? These defects in the print actually help
set the tone and attitude for this movie. Extras include; commentary by
Sam Sherman, trailers, tv spot, a deleted Livingston sex scene, and one
silly outtake. Who knows what “Locked Loins” has to do with The
Naughty Stewardesses? This movie as a movie will not win any awards,
minds, or hearts, but damn there’s so much going on here you can’t
help being humorously entertained. – Denis Sheehan
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