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 HOW
SOON IS NEVER? by Marc Spitz. Fiction,
2003. 347 Pages.
Three Rivers Press- Can I get an amen?
How about a fuck yeah? This
book, William, was really a helluva lot more than nothing.
In fact, it’s bursting with a whole lotta good stuff.
Joe Green (repeatedly asked, “like Mean
Joe Green?” just as our author must surely has been asked things such as
“like the gaily mustachioed swimmer?”) is a protagonist we all can,
for better or worse, identify with. Okay,
well, all of us born between, say, 1967 and 1971 who loved the Smiths and
other outside the mainstream acts during our tumultuous, angst-ridden high
school years. But you other
sad sacks will like him too, mainly because he’s so damn funny and so
self-deprecatingly honest.
As many of us were, Joe is a child of divorce who
begins the ‘80s feeling lost and not knowing just what the fuck he
really identifies with. After
a brief, eye-opening love affair with punk rock, he discovers the
existence of a mysterious band called the Smiths and becomes absolutely
obsessed with them before even hearing them play a note.
When Joe finally does hear them, the combination of Morrissey’s
unusual, insightful, clever, often hilarious lyrics and Johnny Marr’s
exquisite music gives his life new meaning, and the world takes on a
poignancy that he previously couldn’t imagine.
And when the Smiths break up a few years later, it coincides with-
and puts an exclamation point on- the end of the most alive, optimistic
time he’d ever experienced.
Years go by and Joe is on the cusp of his dreaded
30s. After drifting in and out
of drug dependency and a listless hopelessness from his college days
through his late-twenties, Joe is able to tap into the writing talent he
cultivated in high school and becomes a rock journalist for a smart new
music magazine called Headphones.
And while that’s all fine and good for a bit and allows him to
continually get fucked up and sleep with all sorts of young ladies, his
life still feels essentially empty. Then
he meets fellow magazine staffer Miki and his awesome infatuation with her
makes life suddenly a lot more worth living.
Turns out they share the exact same birthday and loved the same
bands growing up, the Smiths being their mutual favorite.
The fact that she already has a boyfriend slows things down a bit,
but when Joe and Miki drunkenly concoct a plan to try to reunite the
Smiths and then seriously attempt to follow through with it, Joe starts
believing that this scheme will help him feel as alive as he did in high
school AND get the girl. It’s
a quest that’s touching and funny and it’s a great read.
And, somewhat predictably (but who gives a shit if it’s
predictable, you coldhearted fucks?), Joe figures out how to really become
happy along the way. Redemption
through the Smiths, if you will.
How Soon Is Never has so many joyous, witty ‘80s allusions- both
with its prose and some great chapter titles- that I found myself
remembering a bunch of things I hadn’t thought about in quite awhile.
The Smiths were, surprise, surprise, one of my favorite bands in
high school, but I hadn’t really listened to them in a long time.
Just reading this book got lots of their songs looping through my
brain and I eventually dusted off my Queen
Is Dead cassette (followed by all the rest of ‘em!) and really
listened to these songs for the first time in ages.
When I once again heard Morrissey plaintively croon, “It’s so
easy to laugh, it’s so easy to hate, it takes strength to be gentle and
kind” on “I Know It’s Over,” I choked up just as I did when I
first heard that line in 1986. It
really struck a chord with me then, and I remember writing this phrase on
my wall and trying to recall it whenever I felt myself starting to act
like an asshole. And when
“There Is A Light That Never Goes Out,” a brilliant study of
loneliness and adulation if there ever was one, came on, I instantly
remembered my old friend Jeff. While
some associate this song with romantic (albeit sort of desperately
romantic) feelings, I was always reminded of this kid.
He had cerebral palsy, and I think I was probably the first peer in
his 16 years to actually treat him nicely.
Admittedly, I started taking him out with my friends and me (much
to their extreme fuckin’ consternation- he could be kind of a pain,
truth be told) out of a huge feeling of sorrow for him.
He started dressing like me, buying the music I liked and
incessantly calling me. All it
ultimately got him was arrested. Anyhow,
as narcissistic as it sounds, I always sort of thought that was the way
Jeff felt about me. The fact
that this book not only entertained the fuck out of me, but also brought
me back some memories that I appreciated being able to think about again,
made me like it even more. –Ben
Hunter
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